What Is Love Anyway?

This blog post was in the archives.  I had originally written this last year, however, I didn’t complete the post and then, I didn’t have the inspiration to complete it.  So here it is:   Enjoy!

The other day while on a Target run, I found a coffee table book called, “The Book of Love.”   Since I was feeling a little in the “Valentines Day” mood I decide to purchase the book.

That night, I sat in the writing corner and began to flip through the book.   It’s mainly a coffee table book, meant to be gifted to that special someone.  It has recipes, fun facts and romantic poems.    I came across one of my favorite  sonnets “Love Sonnet  XVII ” by Pablo Neruda.    “I love you without knowing how, or when, or from where, I love  you simply, without problems or pride.”

love

This got me thinking about the whole notion of Valentines Day.  According to this, Valentine’s Day was first celebrated in 1750 c.e, in Great Britain where people began to write little notes to each other. However, legend stated that  a Roman Priest named Valentine began marrying young soldiers in secret.  The soldiers were forbidden to be married when the emperor believed  that single men made better fighters.  Because he went against the emperors wishes, Valentine was executed.   By the middle ages, Valentine became on of the most popular saints in Europe.

Love is an amazing, beautiful emotion.  But it can also be scary.  Giving your heart to someone else and having them destroy it hurts.  It leads to a broken heart and worse, we lose our faith in love.  You can read all about Love here .

SO is love just another human emotion?  I decided to do some research, you know, just so I can really get to the bottom of this LOVE Thing.  I did what any person does when they need fast answers, I GOOGLED it!  After poking around on a few websites I came across https://theanatomyoflove.com/what-is-love/what-is-love/ with a few scientific explanations and even quizzes!!!!  You know me, I love a good quiz!!

According to researchers, they analyzed brain scans in order to learn about love and how it affects us.  Reserchers found that the feeling that we get when we feel deep emotion for someone lies in the area that controls our vitals IE breathing.  So, they stated that our “romantic love is like thirst, and that our beloved is like water”.   They also found that the feeling that we get when we come face to face with our love, is that this person becomes likea goal to us, and that our bodies “need” them in a sense.   (you can watch the video HERE)

kiss

Whatever your stance is on love, I think we can all agree that its absolutely the best ever!

If you’re lucky enough to find it, once, twice, three times, then hold on to it.  as long as possible.  Cherish it.  Hold it close to your heart.  Work out your differences if possible.  And never, ever, ever, give up on it!   Trust me on that!

I’ll leave you with one of my favorite Love poems.

 

 

Love Sonnet XVII
By: Pablo Neruda

“I don’t love you as if you were the salt-rose, topaz
or arrow of carnations that propagate fire:  I love you as certain
as dark things are loved, secretly, between the shadow and the soul.
I love you as the plant that doesn’t bloom and carries hidden within itself the light og those flowers
and thanks to your love, darkly in my body  lives the dense fragrance that rises from the earth.

I love  you without knowing how, or when, or from where, i love you simply, without problems or pride;  I love you in this way because i don’t know any other way of loving

but this, in which there is no I or you, so intimate that your hand upon my chest is my hand.  so intimate that when I fall asleep it is your eyes  that close.

 

Encouragement

Motivation Monday :

Someone very special to me sent me this over the weekend, “Don’t allow the world to shame you. Stand tall and proud because you are somebody. Even when you feel at your lowest, you ride high on the wings of glory. You are amazing. You are blessed and you are destined for greatness!”

Everyone needs words of encouragement from time to time. The everyday grind and mundane tasks of our lives often leave us tired, weak or stressed. Even when we make an effort to focus on the good, we often need reminder of why we’re here. Even Drake asked himself,What am I doin’? What am I doin’? Oh, yeah, that’s right, I’m doin’ me”

If this week’s troubles and stresses are getting to you or if you need a reminder of how amazing you truly are here it is.

“Believe in yourself! You have an amazing story to tell. Only YOU know the battles you to deal with every day. Only YOU have to live in your skin. Be the person you want to be EVERYDAY! Do you best! Everyday! And if you fall today, remember to pick yourself and try again! Tomorrow is another day!” – Mayra Beltran

Lately, Frankie has insisted that I smell the flowers and it’s in those moments that I truly need to stop and smell them. It makes him happy that we take a moment to enjoy nature.

When was the last time you stopped to smell the flowers. This week, along with giving ourselves a pat on our backs take a moment to smell the flowers.

I hope that you have an amazing Monday and week.

XO

cherry blossoms

Mom-Otions

There has been an ocean of change over here at Eyelovesuggie .   I was really riding that creative wave, and all of a sudden, something threw a wrench and I fell hard.

Things have been  really stressful lately and, instead of continuing to stay connected to my passion, I began to let it go.  I feel guilty about it, because I had been feeling really great lately.  However, LIFE is like that! We’re up one minute and the next, you’re sobbing at every little thing.

I suddenly become overwhelmed with every task that is placed in front of me.   My calendar continues to fill up between family obligation, work, meetings, and just regular life things.

I am trying HARD To keep up with the self- care challenge, but let me tell you, it doesn’t always happen.

Talking about my anxiety and other things has helped me take a step back and breathe.  I know that this is just a rough patch and that it will pass soon.  Until then, we should stay connected to things that bring us JOY !

Today Frankie, picked a dandelion for me and said, “Here mommy, this is for you, so  you won’t be angry anymore.”  My heart broke in half.  I Thanked him and said. “I’m not angry.  I “m not angry at you okay.” He’s like, “oh, maybe Jacob.”   Again, I said, “I’m not angry at Jacob either.  I’m just thinking too much and ….” I stopped myself.  ,”I will be better,”  I replied.

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He asked for me to play Kids Bop, on the way to the babysitters house, so we sang along.  When I got to work, I let it out.  My eyes filled with tears, I felt so guilty for not masking  my feelings in front of my kids.  But then, I thought , well it’s normal to feel overwhelmed and stressed, and maybe yes , I need to control my anxiety and not let ANXIETY control ME!

So here I am!  thinking of ways that I can better handle my stress and anxiety without driving MYSELF insane.  I often put too many things on my plate and dive right in.  Maybe I’m impulsive, or maybe  I need to refer back to what happened last year when I stressed myself out (SHINGLES??)

I’m just going to have to take one thing at a time, one step at a time, one day at a time!   That’s all I can say.. and that’s all I can do!  I can’t expect to say YES to everything!  It’s okay to say NO!  It’s okay to leave things until tomorrow.  And though, we may feel like we’re failing by not completing everything on our lists, tomorrow, is indeed another day.

And that’s what I have to keep telling  myself, until this episode passes.

May you always have dandelions to remind you about how beautiful it is to take a step back and remind yourself that everything will be okay! Have faith and hope!!!!

Thank you Lord for my beautiful son Frankie who is my ray of Sunshine!  I am SO grateful for his beautiful heart of gold!

 

 

30 Day Self Care Challenge

These last few weeks, I have been undergoing a period of self reflection, learning, and self-love.  How did I get here?  Well, let me take you back to the vision board party.  Heres the link to that post —>      Why You Should Create a Vision Board    I have two vision boards. One at work and one at home. I had my vison board and my dreams and I was ready to begin 2017 with a bang!

But then, I had no idea where I was going to start.  I felt like my brain was just on overdrive.  I had so much drive and so much passion into doing these things, that I began to juggle too much.

That’s when I took a deep breathe and began to take things one step at a time.

The dreams are still there. My vision is still there.  and YES I am going to accomplish them because I WANT TO  ACCOMPLISH THEM!   YOU HEAR THAT UNIVERSE!!! ALL GOOD THINGS!!!

Taking a step back meant that I had to begin with taking care of myself.  When I’m feeling disconnected with myself I write.  I come here on this blog that I love so much and I pour my heart into ever single word I write.  I write in my journal when I’m feeling upset or feeling emotional about things.  When I  am feeling creative words and phrases jump into my head and they form poems.

eyes

The second thing is, I read.  Last year I read a book Called “Girl Code” by Cara Alwil Leyba. Who’s an absolute gem!  She’s so insiting and so helpful.  I read her books and I just feel so empowered.   I began reading “Sparkle” which is actually her first book.  Then I saw that she came out with a workbook called “Style your Mind.” This was exactly what I needed.   I ordered it right away and quickly dove in.

One of her tips is to spend time on self-care.  I have always been a firm believer in taking time for yourself.  I wasn’t always like this.  Remember last year when I had Shingles?  Yeah, I wasn’t really really spending time on myself back then.  (I’m not saying that will get shingles if you don’t do this challenge, BUT……) NO, really, hopefully you’ll never experience shingles, it’s absolutely horrible.

Anyway, since I am always looking at new and fun ways to self care, I went on Pinterest to research the topic.

 

self

I found an infographic marked, 30 Day Self Care challenge. I read through it and found that the challenge, wasn’t all that challenging.  For example, ON Day 15, the you’re supposed to do something outdoors.  Simple Right?

I revised it to fit my lifestyle and posted the challenge on Instagram asking people to join me!

Think of it, how often do you really do something for yourself?  Like treat yourself to coffee or really meditate on focusing just on what your needs are for that moment?  It doesn’t have to be expensive or take a huge chunk of your day.  When was the last time you danced around your living room alone, or had a little dance party while getting ready for work in the morning? ( I mean, I do that almost every day)  When was the last time you bought yourself  flowers?

Treating yourself with the upmost respect and love is IMPORTANT!  I’ve said this before, you matter!!

I had this conversation with my mom earlier today.  She mentioned that when a woman becomes a mother, she is then put on the back burner.  She said, “your children come first.  before anyone!” and I said, “Yes, I understand that idea, yes, your children come first OBVIOUSLY! However, what about YOU?  IF you’re not well, how are you expected to function as a mother?”   She nodded, but, still wasn’t convinced.

best-gift

Women, especially in the Hispanic/Latino culture  (I’m referring to the older ladies, like my moms age) didn’t really “self care” .  Their beliefs are “You chose to be a mom! This was your choice! Now, go be tired, do the laundry, work, cook, clean, wipe the baby’s butt, eat your cold food….”  SO basically I’m FUCKED ? is that what motherhood is?

I refuse to believe that. Because what happens is that you end up tired, resentful, with ZERO patience for anyone!  IF you have a husband, you begin to resent him too.

And that my friends IS NOT PARENTHOOD!

NO! I refuse to believe that!

If mom isn’t happy, then how can the children be happy? How can your partner be happy?  You have now created a world of ciaos in your household just because you couldn’t take 20 minutes for yourself.

book

 

So after the kids are in bed  and your man is busy, go take a relaxing bath or shower.  Treat yourself to  a mani/pedi on the weekend.  Read a book.  Take a walk.  Make a delicious smoothie and sip it slowly.  Treat yourself to Starbucks and listen to your favorite podcast.

Do Something for Yourself Today.

 

Below is 30 DAY SELF CARE CALENDER.   Copy /paste it and Join us!!!

Day 1 set a reminder on your phone or write the activity down in your planner. I suggest a journal
Day 2 : take a relaxing bath / shower. Light a candles if possible
Day 3: read a book/ magazine you really like.
Day 4: declutter your inbox. Get rid of those newsletters you don’t read
Day 5: catch up on your favorite shows
Day 6 clean a room in your house
Day 7: eat something healthy
Day 8: make a happy music playlist
Day 9: make a list of your favorite things
Day 10: write a list of as many positive things about yourself
Day 11: color or draw
Day 12 create a vision board of Pinterest or with some magazines you already have at home
Day 13: read something that makes you happy
Day 14: make a list of people you know you can reach out to
Day 15: do something outside (take a walk, garden, play with your children, take your dog out, walk to the coffee house, go on a bike ride, smell the flowers, hike…)
Day 16: donate your time or belongings (good way to get rid of clutter)
Day 17: plan something to look forward to. Doesn’t have to be expensive
Day 18: Do a fun workout
Day 19: play a game you enjoy
Day 20: make a list of things you LOVE about yourself
Day 21: shred and throw away old papers you’ve been hanging on to
Day 22: talk to someone about how you’re feeling
Day 23: make a list of your accomplishments
Day 24: drink plenty of water
Day 25: catch up with your friend
Day 26: have a solo dance party
Day 27 wear something that makes you feel good
Day 28: treat yourself to coffee
Day 29: buy yourself flowers
Day 30: great job! Reflect about what you learned and keep this going ! How do you feel?

 

 

This Is Why You’re Fat

We are 6 weeks into 2017 and by now, everyone’s resolution probably went bye-bye- see you in 2018!

For those of you that continue to crush those workouts, i applaud you! Congratulations! You survived Super Bowl Sunday and Valentine’s Day!

As I have learned in these last couple of weeks Is that a healthy lifestyle isn’t just about eating healthy. Though diet plays a huge role in ones health, it isn’t the only thing making you fat!

So why cant you simply shed those last 5, 20, 30 pounds?  Here’s why :
1) Do you stay up late? Well, I do. How else am I supposed to get any work done? But it’s true. The “hunger hormone ” or Ghrelin  is responsible for appetite and cravings.  And guess what, if you have been dieting, which most of us have, this hormone increases at that time, causing your  body to retain fat.  So if you’re staying up, like I am, ghrelin begins to react.  As we speak, I’m hungry.  It’s now 1:00 am!

Going to sleep every night, at the same time, not only helps you establish healthy sleeping habits, but it also stabilizes your body.

2) You’re too stressed- We all know how bad stress is for the body.  But did  you know that stress can actually be making you fat.
When you are stressed out, chemical changes occur in the brain, therefore if  you’re eating and you’re stressed out, your body reacts to it as a state of emergency.  Your brain sends out signals telling the body to STOP digestion and focus on making you “okay” again.  So if  you’re sitting there eating your lunch or dinner and you’re stressed because of your job or other things, your food is sitting there in your stomach, not being digested.  So often times you may feel like there’s a huge lump in your stomach after eating.  It may be that you’re full, but most likely you’re stressed and  your body can’t digest the food you just ate.

3) You’ve been on too many diets for far too long: and you body has had enough.  You cut carbs? Then you cut eating after 5.  You cut out all gluten and then ate carbs, but only healthy carbs.  The truth is that your body may be feeling deprived.  Your meals aren’t balanced, and therefore, when you decrease nutrients, your body goes into shock and hold on to every -single-thing-you-eat!  It has too, because your body is a drama queen!  She thinks you’re starving her, and in reality  you are!

4) You’re calling  your self fat or any other negative term: Before you even sink your teeth into those yummy tacos, or juicy burger you’ve been craving, you’re all ready bashing yourself.  By saying things like, “This is so bad, but so good.” or “This is going to make me fat.” or  you feel guilty or ashamed.  Your body is already attacking it.  So instead of feeling bad for treating yourself to some tacos, feel good about it.  Hey, you worked hard all week.  You went with friends, you deserve to treat yourself to something that you like.  It isn’t the end of the world if you indulge.

 

So what at we going to do about it?  Try going setting up a sleep schedule that you’re comfortable with. IF you need some tips. click Bedtime game changer  or 10 Simple Tips To Better Sleep

eyes

Before you begin eating, clear your mind.  GET OFF YOUR PHONE!  I REPEAT GET OFF YOUR PHONE!   Clear your mind. Breathe in, breathe out.  Tell the kids that you’re going to play relaxing music instead of having the tv on in the background.  Once you’re ready to eat, take a bite.  Chew, slowly, put down your fork or spoon.  Take a deep breathe, pick up your fork and begin the process once again.  Why all the breathing and stalling?  Well, it takes 20 minutes for your brain to receive the signal that you’re  eating and trust me, if you have kids, you can finish your meal in less than 10.  How terrible is that?  Taking your time allows your body to send the feel good chemicals.  Breathing in between bites allows oxygen IN fueling your body, and it allows your body TO BURN WHAT YOU’RE EATING .

I know you’ve tried the Atkins diet, Beyoncé diet, South Beach Diet, weight watchers, Jenny Craig. Pills…..  ME TOO!  Don’t feel bad.  Instead of saying it’s a diet.  Lets try this! fill up your plate with yummy, clean nutrient packed food.  Check this out  The healthy plate which shows your what we should be eating to fuel our body.

I can’t speak for anyone else but myself.  I know that I have struggled with my weight my entire life.  I have looked in the mirror so many times and just wished that I didn’t have this Latina booty.  I wished that my baby pooch could just BE GONE!  I’ve called myself fat, and have shamed my body.  It’s a hard habit to break.  It’s something that I have to work at everyday.  Along with making better choices and exercising, I also have to work on SELF.   Learning to LOVE YOUR BODY is crucial!  Fueling it and working out is important.  But so is your attitude about yourself.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Disclaimer: As a student of Health Coach Institute, I have been learning about nutrition and how lifestyle affects our wellbeing. 

 

 

GirlFriend Chat: What Do Moms Wear?

 

Last week we discussed the importance of caring for YOURSELF!! Because as Ru Paul said, “If you can’t love yourself, how the hell are you gonna love anyone else! Can I Get an AMEN?”   And all the queens say, “Amen!” and then the music plays, “Don’t be jealous of my boogie, don’t be jealous of my boogie…” 

OKAY! Sorry, I had a flash back to one of my favorite shows, Ru Pauls Drag Race.  

But in all seriousness, taking a few minutes for yourself is SO IMPORTANT for your sanity Mama!

In this week’s Girlfriend Chat, we will discuss how easy it is to apply some quick makeup in the morning and pick out an effortless outfit.  Syn and I have been working hard on putting some outfits together for this and I have to give it to her, she can put together a cute outfit! Have you seen her kids?  They’re so cute.

 

Here is what she said “When I go shopping I find myself always forgetting about ME! I have been that frumpy mom and honestly it affects how I feel on the inside as well as it affects my confidence. Not anymore. Shopping on a budget… Target is my favorite go to place. Let’s be honest we are all there to buy shampoo, diapers, sugar…. why not hit up the clearance rack and get a cute top or a cute little sweater. Put it together with some leggings, a tank top, simple earrings and comfortable boots… it can turn any outfit from boring to fabulous. Plus it’s on a budget…. As a mom, I want to teach my children to be confident and sometimes it can mean putting a little lip stick on to give you that extra boost. Dressing up for work or running errands should be easy and most of all comfortable. Pick up staple pieces that you can mix and match. I promise it’ll make life so much easier.”

 

Finding staple pieces that you can mix around is so helpful!  For example, I’m a lover of jeggings and I have my favorite pair.  I wear them to work, on dates, and heck just for running errands.   I wear them with sneakers or boots, heels and yes, even my Emu boots that I have been living in this winter. 

I think that we both agreed that you don’t have to spend tons of money to look polished and effortlessly put together.   I am pretty fortunate that I don’t work in a corporate setting where I have to wear a sport coat, slacks and flats.  Unless I have an important meeting with HR.  I can usually wear casual clothing to work, however, I try to limit those days to Fridays and Saturdays.  Yet, Syn, has more of dress code than I do.  However, she fits in her personal style and dresses super cute.

Gone are the days of dressing like a “mom”.    You know, overly printed tops, mom jeans and sweat pants.   You also don’t have to dress like you’re a 14 year old girl,  but also not like a 90 year old woman. 

Find the perfect balance between the two. 

Do you like Vans? Cool? I do.  Wear the high tops with leggings and a plain tee shirt and sweater.  Do you prefer Chucks?  Yay! Cuff your jeans and pair them with a trendy flannel. These items don’t have to break the bank.  And let me tell you, you will feel so much better. 

Look, motherhood is hard. And I’ve said said before and will say it once more , it so important to take care of self .

Syn and I compiled a few outfits for everyone to look at. Take a look! Be inspired! Find your self again! 

Girlfriend Chat: You’re a Mom BUT You’re also HUMAN



The Other Day, My BFF and I were having a casual conversation while she drove home (don’t worry, she’s safe) and I sat in my comfy, pink chair at work.  We discussed the usual; work, kids, workouts, weekend plans, CHISME and boy talk.   

Suddenly, in between discussing Chisme and her dinner menu, I had a wonderful idea!  I said, ” This would make a great blog post!  Would you like to Collaborate with me?

She agreed and all these ideas just began to float around in my head.  We decided that this would have to be a TWO part Collaboration.

I hope you guys enjoy it!

 

I met @syn_syn while we were in high school.  We were both trying out for our high school’s drill team and we instantly became friends.  Throughout the years, we have been through so many things together.  She was there when I got married, and started my life as a married woman.  She was there when I lost my father, and was there when I got divorced.  She’s heard a lot and knows a lot.

So when we both became mothers, she understood when certain luxuries like getting my nails done or simply going to target to buy myself something was out of the question.

I am not going to lie, when I had Frankie, my role changed into Frankie’s MOM!  I didn’t know any other role, and I really let myself go.   I tried to get back into blogging, but my blogs and post became everything related to babies and HIS life.  And that’s great.  But as we both realized, We, as mothers and women, have more layers!

I really had to sit back and think about what it was that I liked to do.  My life didn’t end when I had Frankie.  A NEW chapter in my life began!  I was no longer that girl who stayed out late with friends, and went out drinking or would go splurge on a nice pair of heels.  That part of our life was wonderful, and I’m glad that I enjoyed it.

My friend share a little bit about getting back to basics and what she does to feel better on those days when motherhood kicks your butt.

@Syn_syn said, ” As a mom with a career, a husband and kids, I find it extremely difficult to balance life.  I have found that I let myself go on the inside and out.  I have been working on the inside for a while and am finally able to work on the outside. As a mom we forget that we have needs and wants as well.   I want to feel  healthy and confident when I look in the mirror. When I go shopping I find myself always forgetting about ME! I have been that frumpy mom and honestly it affects how I feel on the inside as well as it affects my confidence. Not any more…..-”  {More on her tips in Part 2}

For me, getting back to basics has taken a long time.  And yet, it feels like my journey isn’t complete.  I feel like since the birth of Jacob in 2014, I have been in a constant battle with change.  I wasn’t ready to face motherhood alone, and yet in the back of my mind, I always knew that I would have to do so.

Once Jacob was born, navigating my way through life with two kids was difficult.   Many tears later, we got through our first year together as a family of three.  Then Came a different stage, and then another and now, here we are, about to embark on another journey, that I can hopefully share with you all soon (NO, I’m not pregnant).

 

So lets find ourselves again.  What did you like to do before you had children?  Who were you?  Better yet, WHO are you!  Children are just another extension of who we are.  THEY don’t define you completely.  Our children are beautiful and they’re a true blessing in our lives.  But lets get real here for one second! You’re important too MOM! and you should celebrate that everyday!!  Take a little time on yourself BECAUSE YOU MATTER!!!!

 

Bedtime game changer 

I have always been more creative at night. This is the time when the kids are in bed, the house is quiet and I can finally get some time to myself .

It’s also usually really, really late. 

On the nights when I stay up late reading , writing . instagramming, pintresting or creating awesome content for ya’ll , I stay up until 2:00 am! And it’s no wonder I’m super tired in the morning !

I absolutely hate limiting my writing times, but because I can only write at night I try to get my quiet time earlier. I start around 11 and give myself an hour and a half. On the weekends, I’ll stay up late . 

When it’s not a weekend, I practice my bedtime routine that has limited the amount of times I toss and turn. This is what I do:

Once I retire to my room , I light a candle to create a relaxing environment . I remove my makeup, wash my face, brush , floss and apply my night creams .yes! I use night creams ! 

I then turn off the lights and get into bed.

find the “Tracks to Relax sleep Meditation ” podcast and look for the longest one. 

This has become a game changer for me!! Not only does this help me to relax but it has also taught me to “turn off” my busy , loud mind which usually doesn’t allow me to sleep at night. 

I often find myself overthinking things and scenarios. Before I know it , I’m wide awake , uncomfortable and either have a headache or a stomach ache.  

I think that can be labeled as anxiety … right? 

Anyway. The podcast also features

Meditations for helping one reach their goals or simply get the day started. It’s amazing!!!!

The first night , after I sprayed my lavender pillow spray , I turned on the app and fell asleep in no time !!  

Try it next time you find yourself waiting on The Sandman .

Here’s to a restful nights sleep! 

Xoxo

❤ Mayra